**This post is not about any deals/freebies/coupons/etc. Feel free to pass by it if you are not interested. 🙂
As you all know, my life has been consisting of one thing lately – adoption. If you’ve been following our adoption blog Addicted to Adoption, we’ve been keeping it updated on all of our endeavors. A few weeks ago, my hubby posted on Addicted to Saving about our ambitious fundraising goals. I wanted to thank the countless (absolutely countless) words of encouragement many of you have emailed me or left on my blog or posted on Facebook. I also wanted to thank all of you who have donated. Every single penny helps us get closer to our adoptions and I am SO thankful for all of you. The process of adoption is far from easy and all of your kind words, prayer and support has meant the world.
If you are new to our adoption endeavors, one year ago, my husband and I decided to adopt internationally. Our hearts go out to orphans – especially those who are lacking simple necessities like food and vaccines. Without adequate food and medicine, these children have a very small chance for survival. We want to help – we know we can’t do much, but we want to do what we can. Because the international adoption process consists of years of waiting, we decided to adopt two children from different countries. To get the “cliff notes” version of our adoption story, below is our recap.
Ethiopia Adoption: We started the process of adopting May 2011. Our dossier has been submitted and we have been “in-line” waiting for our baby since January ’12. We have at least 2 years, if not longer to wait to bring our child home. (Our child is not born yet.)
Haiti Adoption: our home study has been completed and our dossier is ready to be submitted. However, there are many delays in Haiti and we are uncertain when they will accept new dossiers. Our baby has been been born – however, we have not received our referral as the orphanage is waiting official documents before they can give us information and photos. Because of the process in Haiti, our child will be in the orphanage for at least 2 years once our dossier is submitted.
Domestic Adoption: Last month (May), a birth mom chose us to adopt her baby due this August. She has 48 hours after giving birth to make the final decision as to whether or not to give her baby to us. If you have been through a domestic adoption like this, then you know it is an emotionally taxing journey.
When we posted about fundraising a few weeks ago, I found that there were two common concerns raised regarding our adoptions. I wanted to acknowledge both of them.
1) If you can’t afford to adopt, how can you afford to parent a child?
(Our international adoptions will cost on average $30,000 each and our domestic adoption will cost $29,000.) This is such a great question. I guess my first answer is that my husband and I have already spent $20,000 on adoption costs. We were not expecting to adopt this August and while we wish we had $29,000 to spend in August, we do not. So we are fundraising. We are selling everything in our house that we can. We are selling t-shirts. We are selling bracelets. We are holding a fire sale aka garage sale the end of this month. We are applying for grants. We are tightening our budget. We are doing everything we can. You are right though – we can not afford to pay the adoption fees to bring home these children. We can, however, afford to feed them, house them, clothe them, give them health insurance by adding them to our plan and most importantly, love them. I wish that we could afford to adopt. I wish that more people could afford to adopt.
2) Why are you adopting when you could foster a child?
Let me start by saying that when hubby and I were just adopting internationally, people asked me why we were not adopting in the states. (People also asked why we were adopting black children but that is a different story.) And now that we are adopting in the States, people ask why we are not fostering. But just like not all my blog posts appeal to everyone, our adoption decisions do not appeal to everyone either. And that’s okay. But I don’t think that any one child has more value than any other child. If a child has no home, whether they are in an orphanage, hospital, or in a foster home, we want to help. Sadly, we are only two people and as of now, we feel that tackling these three adoptions is more than enough for us. If you feel passionate to adopt, foster, sponsor a child, etc, I encourage you to do so. There are millions of children in need throughout the world and we all can do our part.
Which brings me to our 60k in 60 days update. (If you are new to this, feel free to read the blog post my husband wrote on Addicted to Saving HERE). Thus far, we have raised $6,321. We are beyond excited about this and frankly, I’m humbled beyond words. This money was raised by the generous donations of many of you and I can not thank you enough. Every penny donated is put into a bank account created only for adoption costs. If there is even a penny leftover after our adoptions, we will pay it forward and give it to our church’s adoption fund so that other couples in our situation can be helped. You can even give directly to our agency if it would make you feel more comfortable. Please email us for more info at: [email protected].
If you would like to help us, we would be so grateful. Go HERE to read how to donate. We have 57 days left in our 60 day challenge.
60,000 people give $1 = $60,000
30,000 people give $2 = $60,000
20,000 people give $3 = $60,000
12,000 people give $5 = $60,000
6000 people give $10 = $60,000
3000 people give $20 = $60,000
**I realize that not everyone supports our decision to adopt. I respect you for that. I do ask, however, that you treat me with this same respect and refrain from posting attacking comments. I will remove any and all comments that are unkind, judgmental or disrespectful.
Thanks for coming to Addicted to Saving! Here’s a little bit about me so you can know who’s behind all these posts!
My name is Liza and I began my money-saving journey in the Spring of 2009 as a way to stretch a limited household income. I had lost my job and my hubby was self-employed. I launched Addicted to Saving in November of 2009 and it has grown by leaps and bounds. Since then, my hubby and I have struggled with the ups and downs of two failed adoptions and are now LOVING being parents to our little man Asher who we brought home from Ethiopia in August of 2013. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to help you save money. My goal is that you will have FUN and become empowered to save more and more money each week..
I am behind you and your decision 100%! When my husband and I did an international adoption of a child of another race we were also asked many times why we did not do a domestic adoption or foster. Surely you get it more because of this site. Sometimes there is no good answer to explain a personal decision. On the positive side, learning to get comfortable answering the question now will make it that much easier when your adopted child is with you watching you answer. They will in turn learn how to answer similar questions as they are growing up.
Hi there 🙂
Let me Start by saying that everytime I read something about your adoption it brings me to tears… I honestly believe that its amazing what you guys are doing and when I read this post I couldnt helpe myself to say something. I belive is very easy to judge someone else’s but not a lot of people put themselfs in someones elses shoes. You guys are willing to give a child love, food, a home and so much more! Who cares how that child got lucky enough to end up with a family when they werent going to have one in the first place?
Regarding the adoption fees and how some people might believe that because of that you wouldnt be able to afford a baby I think they are wrong… You guys are doing everything you can to get the money by yourself and I dont see anything wrong to ask for help, specially when you have help us so much. Just because you dont have that kind of money laying around doesnt mean you cant give those kids what they need.
Dont let the bad thoughts bring you down, just put everything in God’s hands 😀
Good luck!!
ALL God’s children are created EQUAL period!! AWESOME!!!!
We wish you all the love and light imaginable 🙂 Best wishes 🙂
Good luck to you! You are amazing and I wish you all the very best!
You have to do what you believe is right regardless of what others say. There are some tasks in life that are given to us by God that we could not do on our own. These things increase our faith and belief that life is not all about us. You and the hubby really get this, but it’s an extra word of encouragement. There are always going to be critics in this world. I’ve learned they aren’t going anywhere. I also know I wouldn’t have done half the things I’ve done in my life if I listened to what everyone else said about it, and I don’t regret one of those things. Rock on sister!
I’ve been following your adoption story and I must say….you are are a wonderful woman of God! It will happen for you and the hubby…just wait and see!
Beautifully written, Liza. Feel privileged to read your updates – keep ’em coming. Lots of prayers for the roller coaster ride you are on. So thankful the Lord is the driver and can’t imagine the wonderful things He has ahead for you and the children who will be a part of your family – some not even conceived yet, but so needing a forever family. So exciting!
People should be ashamed of themselves for even questioning you guys on the race of a child. There are many children across the world that need a home and Love oh and lets not forget food in their little tummys.People need to take their blinders off. Any way I am so very Happy for you and Jeff. If I had the money I would happily pay for it all. You will make the best parents in the world. You two are givers and thats what this world needs is more givers!!! I know you guys are so excited to start a family and Boy your getting yourself one. I wish you Love, Hope and Lots of Joy.
we are in process of adoption but we have a 9 year old girl which I delivered and could not go through pregnancy again, but living int he state of Florida we choose to adopt through the state the reason why is its FREE.. we make a generous 6 figure salary so it wasnt a money issue until we looked into how much adoption through a agency is, why did you not take that route into adopting a child ?, there are hundreds of kids all in the US and in FLorida to choose from and not one penny out of pocket to do so. we have many friends who have adopted from China, THailand and russia but also many infants that are adopted through the US. It seems the need for adoption is so grealty here in our own country is greater then going elswhere.
I can not wait to hear your parenting stories. I do not know you personally, only from watching your blog, but you can tell by how hard you are working to adopt your children that you are going to be a great mom. You must be crazy (in a good way) to try for three so close together. This is coming from someone who always wanted 4 so I think it is great, but it will be busy which is how I like my life, filled with kids. I am jealous, my husband and I were only blessed with two and he can not emotionally handle anymore or I would love to adopt. He is a great dad, one of the big tough kind until one of his kids gets hurt, emotionally or physically, then he is a big mess!
Anyway, I am contributing what I can to help you start your family. I think it is great what you are doing. You have always helped others with your blog and classes. You are an amazing person who is going to make an amazing mother (of course you already are to your furry ones). Thank you for giving me a chance to help more kids finding permanent loving homes.
People always like to criticize and put their 2 cents on other people’s life. It is your decision and you do what you feel best. I wanted to adopt locally, but people do not know until they experience it how difficult is to actually make it happen. We have to stop because it was stressing us so much that I was getting sick. I was adopted by a family member, being adopted is the biggest gift that one can be given. Having the opportunity to have a family is every child dream. Good luck and don’t let them rain on your parade.
Maithy
Good luck to you! I don’t know why people need to judge others, especially someone like you who is trying to do something that, to me, is undeniably “good.” I also can’t understand why anyone would imagine that just because you don’t have a lump some of $30,000 available on 2 months notice, that that means you can’t afford to raise a child. That’s absurd, and certainly implies that love is not the most important thing that a child needs, which it is.