Baby T’s caregivers would bring him outside to us twice a day. This is one of the times he was brought to us.
So many of you have asked for updates on our adoption with Baby T and I do have “news”. If you recall, last month we passed court while in Ethiopia with Baby T. When you pass court, Ethiopia is basically telling you that you are the legal guardian of your child. However, we can’t bring our child back to the states until we clear embassy. We will clear embassy once the US embassy reviews and approves our case and Baby T’s paperwork.
I tell you what, this is such a messy and such a long process. We knew going into adopting in Ethiopia that we would go to Ethiopia, meet our child, pass court and then have to leave our child until we clear embassy. However, when you actually go through this process and have to leave your child in the orphanage… the process is heartbreaking.
Holding Baby T our last day at the orphanage before leaving for the states. We were all sick.
While Baby T is in a “nice orphanage” by Ethiopia’s standards, by American standards, it is not a place you would want to spend the night in let alone grow up in. Just a couple of months ago, a 7 year old died of typhoid in our child’s orphanage. And while we were there, it seemed like every child and baby that we saw had bad colds. (Our five month old baby boy died of an upper respiratory infection in this very orphanage last fall.) While in Ethiopia, Baby T gave his cold to me and it took me two weeks to kick the cold and a total of 4 weeks to kick the cough and I’m a healthy adult who has access to medications, vitamins and clean water. So if you asked me if I am worried about Baby T’s health (as well as the health of all of the other children), I would say most definitely.
We are not sure where we are in the embassy process and I can say that being in the dark is maddening. There are three steps that need to be completed by our agency before we are submitted to the US Embassy. We do know that these three steps have not been completed however we are hoping to be submitted soon. Once we are submitted to embassy, it may take just a few weeks for the US to approve/clear us, or it may take a few months.
The view of Addis Ababa from the top of the guest house where we stayed. Every night, all night long, we would hear wild dogs, people talking and sometimes yelling, car horns, beggars begging and then at 5:30 am every single morning, we would hear a man chanting and singing into a microphone at a mosque near where we were staying. During my next trip, I will be bringing earplugs because all of these noises did not allow for a good night’s sleep. 😉
As I’ve been back in the states the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling more and more led to return to Ethiopia before we clear embassy. I can’t quite explain it, but each day Baby T is in the orphanage, I feel like we lose yet another day of bonding and attachment. Each day is another day when he learns to take care of himself, feed himself, go to sleep by himself and play by himself. His brain is literally growing and being wired to think that it is normal to have no parents, have countless caregivers and that to fall asleep by himself is normal. Since being back, I’ve had a harder and harder time coming to grips with that.
All this to say, I’ve booked a flight and I am heading out to Ethiopia on Tuesday, July 30th. After 20+ hours of travel, I will arrive in Ethiopia Wednesday night. Thursday, I will spend time with Baby T at the orphanage. And then Friday, as long as Baby T is doing okay with me, I will take him out of the orphanage and bring him to live with me. Once I take him out, I can’t bring him back (nor would I). So Friday, should be the last day he is an orphan.
The view outside our bedroom window. These people were outside rain or shine selling everything from shoes, to onions to garlic to roasted corn.
I’m excited. And yet nervous. I’m not a big traveler. And to be honest, I don’t love the idea of staying in Ethiopia for months on end without my hubby. When I was there in June, it was rough. We stayed in a nice guest house. But “nice” is just different in a third world country. We went many days with electricity that would come and go. It was cold at night – very cold. Simple things like brushing your teeth are a challenge – you have to remember not to put your toothbrush under the faucet for fear of catching parasites on your toothbrush and thus getting sick. Dealing with stomach issues are basically a given with the poor water quality. So while I know deep down in my gut that I am supposed to take Baby T out of the orphanage, I am also scared that instead of being in Ethiopia for just a few weeks, I will end up being there for a few months.
I’m also nervous about parenting. While I have loads of babysitting experience and while all of my friends have kids, this will be my first time parenting full-time. And the chances are high that when I take Baby T out of the orphanage, he will be sick. And he may be scared of me. And he may be frightened of living in a new space (even if the living arrangements with me are better than his orphanage). And he may not sleep well. And he may not like the food I prepare him. The list goes on and on. I am sure my nerves are not much different from any first time (or second, third, fourth time) parent.
While I am gone, Addicted to Saving will carry on as normal. My awesome hubby will be staying home and parenting our two dogs and maintaining Addicted to Saving. We also have some gals who will help him and give him some time off at night.
I have high hopes for blogging while I’m gone. Not necessarily blogging about deals, coupons and freebies, but instead blogging about my time there. I can’t make any promises as I have seen that the electricity let alone internet is not reliable. However, I will do my best to keep you all updated on my life.
Our agency submits files to the US Embassy on Mondays. So please pray we are submitted this Monday. Once we are submitted, we have only one more hurdle left and my hope is that it will go quickly so that I don’t have to stay in Ethiopia too long with Baby T!
Thanks for coming to Addicted to Saving! Here’s a little bit about me so you can know who’s behind all these posts!
My name is Liza and I began my money-saving journey in the Spring of 2009 as a way to stretch a limited household income. I had lost my job and my hubby was self-employed. I launched Addicted to Saving in November of 2009 and it has grown by leaps and bounds. Since then, my hubby and I have struggled with the ups and downs of two failed adoptions and are now LOVING being parents to our little man Asher who we brought home from Ethiopia in August of 2013. I feel incredibly blessed to be able to help you save money. My goal is that you will have FUN and become empowered to save more and more money each week..
God speed is part of the prayer I will say for you all.
Thank you so much for the prayers. We need them!
I have no way of knowing the nerves and excitement and fears, but I’m pulling for you all! What a wonderful thing you’re doing, and going through to provide Baby T with a life he wouldn’t otherwise ever know. You are amazing!
Thank you so much Melinda. Your words are very encouraging.
crossing fingers (& everything else) & praying you get submitted & that will be one step closer to having your family together.
Thank you Rox!
Wow… That is so brave of you. I would think it was brave if you were going with your hubby, but for you to go alone? I can’t even I imagine. I hope you have a safe journey there, and a safe and Healthy stay there. You may not legally be his mother here yet, but you are already acting just like a true parent would, by placing the welfare and safety of your child over your own. Safe journey!
Thanks Jacqueline! I’m considering myself a little brave mixed in with a lot of crazy. I know I’m in for an interesting upcoming month but I’m doing what I have to do and praying for a good outcome. Thank you so much for your kind words. I know I will be rereading them while I’m in Ethiopia.
Congrats to you on the process moving forward. My cousin adopted twins from Uganda and it was a long process for them as well. I can tell you, however, that over a year later, they are happy and healthy boys (they were sick when she got them) and a beautiful family.
Good luck to you and your husband!
Thank you so much Brianne! Uganda does have a very difficult and long adoption process. I’m so happy to hear that your cousin’s boys are doing well! That is so encouraging to me. 🙂
I will keep you in my prayers! We adopted our daughter from Guatemala 6 1/2 years ago. While waiting to be released from the court, I had the same feeling. I needed to go there and not come home without her. I booked my trip, planning to leave my husband home to care for our other 4 children for as long as it took. But God is good and heard my prayers. We were released and approved 3 days before I was scheduled to leave. We made the trip on Sunday, she was placed forever in my arms on Monday, embassy on Wednesday and home the following Monday. She was 6 months old and knew I was her Mommy. Forever. God will guide you. You’ll be an awesome Mommy! Good luck!
Thank you so much Debra. I pray that my story follows yours in that embassy approves us quickly! 🙂
My papers are with you and your family for a speedy adoption.
Oops mean prayers!!
Best of luck to you! You and your baby already have a strong bond, that is what is taking you back to be with Baby T! And all this worrying is only the beginning…it never goes away no matter how old our kids are. I’ll be watching for updates and I am sure things will work out just perfectly for your family 🙂 You are doing the right thing by going early!
Your story is so moving and your love and courage are admirable! Best of luck and you will be an awesome mother because you care so much!
Prayers for a speedy process and safe travels there and back (soon I hope). God bless you and your new family!!! 🙂
May the Blessed Mother be with you on your travels. This is your destiny Liza!! You ARE baby T’s mother. What you are doing is proof that a mother will do whatever is necessary for her child. We will go to the ends of the Earth for our children. Go be with your baby and may you BOTH get back quickly and safely! God bless you and your family!
Thank you so much Cynthia!
How amazing! You already sound like a “great Mom” Liza. I think all great Mom’s put the safety and love of their baby’s before their own. I am praying for a speedy, stress free finalization of baby T’s adoption. I am so inspired by your story, I can’t even imagine what an amazing life you are giving this baby. God bless. …oh, side note…all babies come with labor pains…yours are just global in nature. God will give you strength, you already have the love.
Thank you Teri for your kind words and encouragement!
This is so wonderful to hear! You will be an amazing mother. I just know everything will fall into place this time. You are such a strong person. I admire your determination through this process. You have already shown that you can make it through some hard times. God bless and your hubby will do a wonderful job while you are gone. Take care of yourself and we will hear from you soon! 🙂 Cannot wait to see more updates of your family!
We will miss you while you are gone, but as much as I need your blog posts, I know that Baby T needs you waaaay more than me. It’s heart-breaking to think of the many needy children, and frustrating to hear how difficult the process is for them just to get to the loving homes that are longing to have them. May God bless your journey with safety and give you comfort as you are separated from your family and friends.
Just remember that God led you to this, so he will bring you through this!!! You are all in my prayers..
Baby T is Blessed and you are special. We who follow you on Addicted to Saving will also follow you on the blog. You will be fine…we wouldn’t have it any other way and you will be home with your son before you know it. Hugs
It sounds like you are going on one amazing journey. And it already sounds like you are going to be one amazing mother. Good luck, you will be surely missed. I will most definitely be praying for a quick and safe trip, for your and Baby T’s health, and in your family overall. God bless sweetie.
Liza, I am so excited for you. You are very brave. I remember the feeling of helplessness waiting for our papers in Vietnam. Going there was not an option with the way that country’s adoption process worked plus I had a newborn here as well. Knowing they are in an orphanage not getting the care that all babies deserve is so tough to deal with. I hope and pray that your journey is smooth and fast. Enjoy the bonding time. We will be looking forward to your updates.
Baby T is so cute and the three of you make the perfect family. I will be praying for your safety and prompt journey back home as a family. God bless,
Sandra
Liza, I’ve been “following” you since A2S was 15k people. I’ve seen your stories and my heart breaks for you, but also rejoices that the paperwork and all are finally coming to an end. While I have children of my own, I knew since early teenage years that I wanted to adopt or foster someday when my own children are older. I know how scary it can be to all of a sudden have complete care of a child – biological or adopted. Just know that God is with you – He will ALWAYS take care of you and your family. You and Jeff will be in my prayers for the next several months. It’s not an easy road, but totally worth it in the end.
When I had my first baby I was so scared. But, my husband’s grandmother told me, “The Lord sends babies with instructions”. Believing that God has brought this baby to you and your husband you can be assured that he will come ‘with instructions’, meaning that you will know what to do when you need to do it. Don’t sell yourself short, you have been working and waiting for this baby and you will do great! Our family has just completed a long and drawn out adoption of three little ones so I know how time seems to crawl. You are in my prayers and under the protection of a mighty God.
I’m so happy/ nervousness for you. I know it’s not easy adjusting to a third world country as you know I’m part Egyptian and I know they are more advanced then Ethiopia so I can imagine its difficult. The chanting from the mosque is actually the call for prayer it’s done five times a day and one of them is at sunrise I know sleep is hard but eventually you will get use to that. See if you can go to the doctor before you leave and see if you can get medicine for stomach bugs before you leave medicines in third world counties are named differently then here so you might have a hard time getting what you need because of names. Just email me and I can get someone to translate the names. I know one tummy bug medice is called antinal if you do catch one. It’s hard to adjust to the water I know.
In Islam they says there is a special part of heaven for people that adopt! What your doing is so amazing and babies are more resilant then you can imagine he will take to you in no time! Babies feed off of love and he will be just fine and there is no such thing as a perfect parent go with your instincts not a book! Each child is different and has their own needs! Your going to do amazing!
Oh one more Thing try to find the expat area or where they all live because there you will find stores with things that you need!
Thank you so much for all of the tips Yasmina 🙂 I will be bringing lots of probiotics as well as cipro. Last time I went, I got sick the second to last day we were in Ethiopia and I have to think that the cipro stopped it from getting worse. If you think of any other medications I should bring, please let me know 🙂 I have to say the chanting is actually beautiful – just not at 5:30 am although I know that with time I will get used to it. By the last night we were there, I started getting used to hearing all of the dogs barking and howling and fighting. I am a light sleeper so I am probably a bit more in tune with outside noises than people like my hubby who fall asleep in less than 30 seconds every night! ha. Awesome idea about the expat area. On the first day I’m there I do plan on going with a translator and driver to get formula for Baby T as well as some baby food. I don’t want to switch his food until he gets home. His little body can only take so much change at once!
Liza, as you can tell already, a mother’s love knows no bounds. I will pray for you and baby T daily.
May God be with you and Baby T. May your travels be safe and swift so you can return and begin the new chapter back home with your husband. God speed.
Praying for you!
Agreeing with you in prayer that “the embassy approves us quickly!” May you be His light shining in that dark place while you’re there.
Betty (WPB)
He is going to be so thankful to be in his Mommy’s arms! We are so praying for you guys. Excited to hear about your travels and time with your son and know that it will be a challenging time as well. Can’t wait to meet him!
I hope that you will be safe in your travels, stay in Ethiopia and that you pass embassy quickly. I know you will be an amazing mom because you are already proving it by moving mountains just to be there with your son. I have absolute faith you two will bond quickly and this period alone together will bring you closeness that you never even knew was possible. Looking forward to a post that says “We passed embassy and are states bound!” 🙂
Thank you so much for your constant encouragement these past couple of years 🙂 It has meant the world to me and hubby 🙂
Prayers for you! Hope the process goes quickly and smoothly! Please keep us posted. Stay safe and healthy! What a darling baby…I know you can’t wait to see him again soon.
I have NO DOUBT you will do just fine in Ethiopia! I pray it’s a short stay. So excited for you all….all THREE!!!
Praying for you the whole time while you are there and your travels! We are in the middle of adopting 2 from China and I cant even BEGIN to imagine meeting them and leaving them!!! By far that has got to be the most gut wrenching experience! I pray you are able to stay well and all the court dates will fly by!
Everyone worries about being the best parent they can be for their child. You and your husband are wonderful caring individuals with open hearts, you will undoubtedly make amazing parents! I’m am so happy that your prayers for a child were answered with this sweet baby, and he is lucky to have been blessed with such great parents. (:
You can do this!!! We brought home two boys from China last Fall. It will be a stretch for you, and you will second guess yourself many times, but go for it! All of the adoptive Mom’s totally get where you are right now. Our prayers will be with you!
Thank you June! Congratulations on bringing your boys home in the fall! I am excited and nervous all at once. Thank you for the prayers!