To all of the fathers that frequent Addicted to Saving, I wanted to wish you all a Happy Father’s Day! And to all of the families out there who are longing for the day when you can experience parenthood, I wanted you to know that we have been there and we know that days like today are tough. Hang in there.

To my own hubby, while parenthood didn’t come easily to us (nothing really has, has it), in less than two years, you have become a pro dad. Our little boy looks up to you and he loves you! And let’s be honest… out of the two of us, Asher thinks you are the fun parent! 😉

I also had to share this Facebook post my hubby made today. Since our son has entered our lives, we have begun looking at race issues differently. This past week has been a hard one for us as we have grieved for and with the people of Charleston. And we have watched the reactions of many people across the U.S. (including some friends) and it has showed us that most white people have no idea how bad racism still is. We’ve tried to figure out how we can help make this world better for not only our son, but for all black people. And honestly, we have no answers. I have heard it said countless times that all we need to do is love one another. And it’s true. But we are realizing prior to making that statement, we have to first acknowledge just how bad the problem is. We are trying to really listen and really learn about just how prevalent racism still is. Anyways, below are hubby’s thoughts this Father’s Day.

On Fatherhood and Racism:

I have never been a racist. But it was only until I became a father to a black son that I realized just how prejudiced I had been. Not overtly, for my own father taught me that we are all equal at the foot of the Cross. However, I had not ever attempted to truly, sincerely empathize with the plight of the black person in America. To me, racism was over, b/c I wasn’t a racist. That’s quintessential narcissism.

The events of the past two years in our country – from Ferguson to Baltimore to Charleston (and many in between) – have caused me to reflect on how my son will be treated as he grows. He’s cute now – what 2 year old isn’t? But I ask my white friends with white children – have you ever prayed that your children might not be profiled simply for walking down the street? Or stopped b/c they were driving in the ‘wrong’ (i.e. “white”) part of town? Or apprehended b/c they fit the only description onlookers give (“he was black”)? Because I have.